Bon Bon Voyage Read online

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Dedication

  Acknowledgements

  Chapter 1 - The Gift

  Chapter 2 - “A Frigging Cruise?”

  Chapter 3 - “Not My Mother-in-Law!”

  Chapter 4 - All Aboard

  Chapter 5 - The Owner’s Suite

  Chapter 6 - “Bon Voyage and Happy Mother’s Day”

  Chapter 7 - The Captain’s Champagne Reception

  Chapter 8 - At the Doctor’s Table

  Chapter 9 - In Crew Quarters

  Chapter 10 - A Visit from the Ombudslady

  Chapter 11 - Boutique Clothes— Culinary Miscues

  Chapter 12 - Touring the “Onboard Amenities”

  Chapter 13 - Dinner with Embarrassing Friends

  Chapter 14 - Entertainment at Sea

  Chapter 15 - Uninvited Down Below

  Chapter 16 - Off the Coast of Morocco

  Chapter 17 - “Hitler in a White Dress”

  Chapter 18 - Where is Mrs. Gross?

  Chapter 19 - Barbary Apes and Bad News

  Chapter 20 - The Duty to Investigate

  Chapter 21 - Searching by Telephone and Internet

  Chapter 22 - The Lone Detective

  Chapter 23 - Destination—the Canary Islands

  Chapter 24 - Las Palmas

  Chapter 25 - Not Lamb!

  Chapter 26 - The Influence of Superb “Mice”

  Chapter 27 - Hijacked by Night

  Chapter 28 - A Groggy Awakening on a Bad Day

  Chapter 29 - Morning Discoveries of an Unfortunate Kind

  Chapter 30 - More Discoveries of an Unfortunate Kind

  Chapter 31 - Carolyn Goes Missing

  Chapter 32 - A Knife in Time

  Chapter 33 - Carolyn, Lost and Found

  Chapter 34 - A New Identity

  Chapter 35 - Rescue at Sea

  Chapter 36 - Desperate Strategies

  Chapter 37 - The Counterconspiracy

  Chapter 38 - A Word with the Chef, Please

  Chapter 39 - Negotiations Pan Out

  Chapter 40 - Preparations

  Chapter 41 - Early Recruiting

  Chapter 42 - The Bridge Tournament, Round One

  Chapter 43 - The Bridge Tournament, Round Two

  Chapter 44 - Night Maneuvers

  Chapter 45 - Three to Go

  Chapter 46 - Early Morning Discoveries

  Chapter 47 - An International Incident

  Chapter 48 - A Mother’s Day to Remember

  Chapter 49 - The Rescue of the Bountiful Feast

  Dessert Recipe Index

  Praise for the delectable Culinary Mysteries by Nancy Fairbanks . . .

  “A clever, fast-paced tale sure to satisfy the cravings of both gourmands and mystery buffs. Food columnist Carolyn Blue is a confident and witty detective with a taste for good food and an eye for murderous detail. A literate, deliciously well-written mystery.” —Earlene Fowler

  “Not your average who-done-it . . . Extremely funny . . . A rollicking good time.” —Romance Reviews Today

  “Nancy Fairbanks has written the best mystery of her career.” —The Best Reviews

  “An entertaining amateur sleuth tale . . . Fun.”

  —Painted Rock Reviews

  “Fairbanks has a real gift for creating characters based in reality but just the slightest bit wacky in a slyly humorous way . . . It will tickle your funny bone as well as stimulate your appetite for good food.” —El Paso Times

  “Nancy Fairbanks has whipped up the perfect blend of mystery, vivid setting, and mouthwatering foods.”

  —The Mystery Reader

  “Nancy Fairbanks scores again . . . a page-turner.”

  —Las Cruces (NM) Sun-News

  “Nancy Fairbanks writes a delicious . . . amusing amateur sleuth story.” —Midwest Book Review

  “Humor, entertaining characters, and a puzzling mystery round out the mix . . . A not-to-be-missed read.”

  —Roundtable Reviews

  Berkley Prime Crime titles by Nancy Fairbanks

  CRIME BRÛLÉE

  TRUFFLED FEATHERS

  DEATH À L’ORANGE

  CHOCOLATE QUAKE

  THE PERILS OF PAELLA

  HOLY GUACAMOLE!

  MOZZARELLA MOST MURDEROUS

  BON BON VOYAGE

  FRENCH FRIED

  Anthologies

  THREE-COURSE MURDER

  THE BERKLEY PUBLISHING GROUP

  Published by the Penguin Group

  Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

  375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA

  Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario M4P 2Y3, Canada

  (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.)

  Penguin Books Ltd., 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

  Penguin Group Ireland, 25 St. Stephen’s Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd.)

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  (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty. Ltd.)

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  (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd.)

  Penguin Books (South Africa) (Pty.) Ltd., 24 Sturdee Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg 2196,

  South Africa

  Penguin Books Ltd., Registered Offices: 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.

  PUBLISHER’S NOTE: The recipes contained in this book are to be followed exactly as written. The publisher is not responsible for your specific health or allergy needs that may require medical supervision. The publisher is not responsible for any adverse reactions to the recipes contained in this book.

  BON BON VOYAGE

  A Berkley Prime Crime Book / published by arrangement with the author

  PRINTING HISTORY

  Berkley Prime Crime trade paperback edition / April 2006

  Berkley Prime Crime mass-market edition / August 2007

  Copyright © 2006 by Nancy Herndon.

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form

  without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in

  violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

  For information, address: The Berkley Publishing Group,

  a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.,

  375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014.

  ISBN: 978-1-4406-1914-4

  BERKLEY® PRIME CRIME

  Berkley Prime Crime Books are published by The Berkley Publishing Group,

  a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.,

  375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014.

  The name BERKLEY PRIME CRIME is a registered trademark of Penguin Group (USA) Inc. The

  BERKLEY PRIME CRIME design is a trademark of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.

  PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

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  If you purchased this book without a cover, you should be aware that this book is stolen property. It was reported as “unsold and destroyed” to the publ
isher, and neither the author nor the publisher has received any payment for this “stripped book.”

  http://us.penguingroup.com

  For my parents,

  the late Robert S. and Ruth E. Fairbanks,

  to whom I owe a wonderful childhood,

  a good education both at home and at school,

  and an enduring love of books, reading, and laughter.

  I will love and remember them always.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  I’d like to acknowledge all the delightful people we met on this cruise (which was not hijacked and actually stopped at all the fascinating places—well, almost all— on the itinerary), but especially Carolyn and Alvin Lip-man from Queens, fellow opera lovers, knowledgeable cathedral visitors, wonderful storytellers. I wish I hadn’t lost their address, and I thought of them often and fondly as I wrote this book.

  Thanks also to my dear husband and travel companion; to my son Bill, who does my website; to Anne and Matthew, daughter-in-law and younger son, who tout my books to family and friends; to all those wonderful readers who e-mail me; to my good friends and members of my book clubs: Sisters in Crime, UTEP Women’s Book Club, and Bookies. I’d never find so many terrific books and authors to read and pass on to Carolyn Blue if it weren’t for the reading lists and discussions I attend monthly with these ladies. And finally, I’d like to thank Sandy Sechrest, who attended our Left Coast Crime Conference in El Paso in 2005 and for whom the ombudslady character was named.

  Many thanks to my editor, Cindy Hwang, whose input on this book was particularly important. If it weren’t for Cindy, Bon Bon Voyage would have been a much different, overly weird, and totally unbelievable book, although my readers may still think it’s weird. But I can’t help that; I have a weird imagination.

  Last, I’d like to acknowledge the authors of the following books, which I used for reference: Ross A. Klein, Cruise Ship Blues: The Underside of the Cruise Ship Industry; Bob Dickinson, CTC, and Andy Vladimir, Selling the Sea: An Inside Look at the Cruise Industry; James Trager, The Food Chronology; Maguelonne Toussaint-Samat (translated by Anthea Bell), History of Food; edited by Andrew Eames, updated by Suzanne Lipps, Insight Guide: Gran Canaria, Fuerteventura, Lanzarote; Bradley Mayhew and Jan Dodd, Lonely Planet: Morocco; Editorial Director Katherine Marquet, Eyewitness Travel Guides: Morocco; Annette Solystz, Timeless Places: Morocco.

  NFH

  1

  The Gift

  Carolyn

  I was sitting on my patio, enjoying a warm April day in El Paso and the sight of blooming spring flowers, whose bulbs had been planted by Hector, my recently acquired gardener. Hector had looked at my yard and announced, “La señora need Hector mucho much.” He didn’t approve of my gardening skills, which had been applied reluctantly at best. After all, what did I know about desert vegetation and keeping stickery, alien weeds out of rock beds? I’d only lived in El Paso a few years.

  On the table beside me was the afternoon mail—seven catalogs for things I didn’t want to buy; three offers of credit cards at 0 percent interest for short periods of time; Chemical and Engineering News, which was for Jason, who reads me interesting tidbits at dinner; my electric bill, which I’d put off looking at because I’d already started using the refrigerated air-conditioning, which is so expensive; and—I couldn’t believe it—a letter from my children.

  They always e-mailed. Why were they writing? Had one or both of them flunked something? Smashed up a car? Contracted a deadly disease? Accepted or made a proposal of marriage, and the letter was an invitation to the wedding? I fingered the envelope. It was quite thick and had several stamps on it. Warily, I pried up the flap.

  HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY, MOM WITH LOVE FROM GWEN AND CHRIS

  The message was pasted onto the first page with cutout newspaper letters and words, like a ransom note in a movie.

  Isn’t that sweet? I thought, my eyes misting. But why were they wishing me a happy Mother’s Day in April? The event occurred in May. I scowled, remembering when Gwen had left school and flown off to meet me in Barcelona without my permission. They were up to something. That was clear.

  I flipped to the second page and began to read.

  Dear Mom,

  We have the greatest Mother’s Day surprise for you. We saw this ad for gourmet cruises, so we wrote the company and explained that our mother was a food critic with a syndicated newspaper column on eating in different cities and that we thought they might like to comp her a cruise so she could write columns about their tremendous cuisine. Chris said they wouldn’t do it, but guess what? You and Daddy are to have the OWNER’S SUITE, all expenses paid, on the Lisbon-to-Barcelona cruise of their newest ship, the SS Bountiful Feast. I added the “SS” part, but Chris says it’s probably wrong.

  You leave before Mother’s Day and get back afterward, visiting “exotic Spanish and North African ports,” including the Canary Islands. (See included brochures and letter from the company.) You do have to pay your own airfare, but wait til you see the pictures of the food and rooms. And it’s not one of those huge floating hotels, although it does have a spa and other stuff like that. Only 200 passengers with lots and lots of crewmembers to take care of your every need.

  And don’t worry about Chris and me. I’m staying here to do a summer play and will join you in New York when it’s over.

  Hi Mom. This is Chris. As you know, I’ll be at MIT doing research with that friend of Dad’s, but I’ll be back to the New York apartment on weekends. You can just put up a cot for me. Gwen is promising me dates with glamorous actresses from that off-Broadway theater she’s working for. Hope you and Dad like the surprise. It’s for Father’s Day, too. I think we got the deal because the “owner’s suite” costs a fortune, and they couldn’t find anyone rich enough to take it. It’s got two bedrooms, two baths, and a sitting room where you can give parties. You should write them as soon as possible to accept, just in case someone actually offers to pay for it.

  Love and happy parents’ days,

  Gwen and Chris

  Marveling at the ingenuity and thoughtfulness of my children, I looked over the pamphlets. The cruise looked absolutely wonderful—pretty bedrooms, small but nice bathrooms (one even had a tub), balconies, gorgeous public areas, a well-stocked library, and a computer room with Internet access (Jason would like that, and it would be convenient for me, too. I could send columns from the ship). The pictures of the dining room and the sample menus excited all my culinary taste buds. There was even a warm letter from the cruise company saying that they sincerely hoped I would accept their offer because they were very proud of their gourmet chef and his wonderful cuisine on the Bountiful Feast.

  Next I looked at the itinerary. Lisbon, Gibraltar, Tangier, Casablanca, Gran Canaria, Tenerife, and a delightful assortment of Spanish ports on the way back to Barcelona—all kinds of lovely places to which I’d never been, except for Barcelona. Perhaps we could go early and spend some time in Lisbon, although, of course, we’d have to pay for that. But since the cruise itself was free, we could certainly afford to enjoy a stay in Lisbon.

  The only problem I anticipated was the time constriction. April was drawing to a close, May almost upon me, and the cruise began in May, before Mother’s Day. How would I ever finish the research I like to do for a trip? The history of so many cities. Places so diverse. And the culinary reading. I hated the idea of going on a wonderful trip quite unprepared. Not that I’d consider missing such an opportunity. The ship did have a library. And a computer room. The Internet would probably be a source of information, although time spent on the Internet would be time taken away from the adventures of the cruise. Oh, well, I’d worry about it later.

  I picked up the telephone I’d brought out to the patio and speed-dialed Jason at the university. “You’ll never guess what our wonderful children have given us for Mother’s Day and Father’s Day,” I said, and went on to describe, with great enthusiasm, our virtually free vacation.

  There was a moment of sil
ence at Jason’s end of the line, and then he said, “I can’t go.”

  I was stunned. How could my husband even think of turning down such an opportunity? A free opportunity! Jason is so thrifty. Surely, he was teasing. “Of course you can,” I retorted. “How could you not?”

  “I have a meeting,” he replied calmly.

  “Well, surely you can skip one meeting, Jason.” I fought down my disappointment with a dash of irritation. “When you have to go to a meeting, I don’t tell you I have something else to do.”

  “You usually don’t have anything else to do, Carolyn,” he replied. “And I really can’t skip this conference. I’m an invited speaker, and I’m responsible for one of the tracks.”

  “I haven’t heard anything about a meeting,” I muttered.

  “Well, it’s in Canada, out in the middle of the plains. It didn’t occur to me that you’d be interested since it’s probably not a place famed for its gourmet food. There aren’t even any activities for accompanying persons.”

  “And you’d rather go there than on a wonderful cruise? What are the meeting dates?”

  Jason told me and remarked that although he’d be free after the meeting, we couldn’t very well try to catch the cruise out in the Atlantic Ocean, which was probably where the ship would be, coming or going from the Canary Islands.